CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS --- TOOLS FOR TALKING WHEN STAKES ARE HIGH
by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler. McGraw-Hill, 2002
    FORWARD

    ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

      1) What's a crucial conversation --- and who cares? (p1-16)

      2) Mastering crucial conversations --- the power of dialogue (p17-26)

      3) Start with heart --- how to stay focused on what you really want (p-27-44)

      4) Learn to look --- how to notice when safety is at risk (p45-64)

      5) Make it safe --- how to make it safe to talk about almost anything (p65-92)

        [1] Step out. Make it safe. Then step back in (p66-68)

        [2] Notice which condition is at risk (p68-74)

        [3] What to do once yo step out (p74-82)

        [4] Crib to get to mutual purpose (p82-88)

        [5] Back to Yvonne and Jotham (p88-90)

        [6] But I could never do that! (p90-91)

        [7] Summary --- make it safe! (p91-92)

          (1) Step out

          (2) Decide which condition of safety is at risk

          (3) Apologize when appropriate

          (4) Contrast to fix misunderstanding

          (5) CRIB to get to mutual purpose

            When you are at cross-purposes, use four skills to get back to "mutual purpose"

            C = Commit to seek mutual purpose

            R = Recognize the purpose behind the strategy

            I = Invent a mutual purpose

            B = Brainstorm new strategies

      6) Master my stories --- how to stay in dialogue when you are angry, scared, or hurt (p93-118)

      7) "STATE" my path --- how to speak persuasively, not abrasively (p119-140)

      8) Explore others' paths --- how to listen when others blow up or clam up (p141-160)

      9) Move to action --- how to turn crucial conversations into action and results (p161-178)

      10) Putting it all together --- tools for preparing and learning (p179-192)

      11) Yeah, but --- advice for tough cases (p193-214)

      12) Change your life --- how to turn ideas into habits (p215-228)

        [1] Surprise (p216)

        [2] Emotion (p217)

        [3] Scripts (p217-218)

        [4] What are our chances? (p219)

        [5] Transfer tips (p219-226)

          (1) Master the content

          (2) Master the skills

          (3) Enhance your motive

          (4) Build in cues

            1. Mark hot spots

            2. Set aside a time

            3. Read reactions

        [6] A digital assist (p227-228)

          (1) Conceptual tools

          (2) Behavioral tools

          (3) Cuing tools --- visit:

                www.crucialconversations.com

          Sign up for regular tips, reminders, and other resources and keep watching for opportunities to use your crucial conversation skills (p228)

        [7] Parting thoughts (p228)

          By sharing the theories, skills and models learned through much research, it is hoped that you will feel more comfortable stepping up to your own crucial conversations. It is hoped that you will be able to add to the pool of available meaning, make better decisions, and work in a way that both gets the job done and enhances your relationships.

          Pick a relationship! Pick a conversation! Let others know that you are trying to do better, then give it a shot. When you blow it, admit it. Don't expect perfrection. Aim for progress. And when you succeed, celebrate your success by experiencing the pleasure in knowing that you are improving and so are your relationships!

          Finally, when the chance arises, help others do the same. Help friends, loved ones, and coworkers learn to master their own high-stakes discussions. Help strengthen organizations, solidify families, heal communities, and shore up nations one person --- one curcial conversation --- at a time!

    ENDNOTES (p229)

    INDEX (p231-235)
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