SELF MATTERS --- CREATING YOUR LIFE FROM THE INSIDE OUT
by Phillip C. McGraw. Simon & Schuster Source, 2001
"The life which is unexamined is not worth living." by Plato, quoting Socrates
1) INTRODUCTION --- Your life has a root core that, once understood, unlocks a powerful
force to create your life the way it was meant to be, the way you want and need it to be.
This action-oriented book DEMYSTIFIES HOW your SELF-CONCEPT came to be and helps
YOU CREATE the REAL YOU!
The book provides the 23 key questions and a clear "map" to help
you discover your "Authentic Self" --- the person you were before life
took its toll, which is your greatest, most fulfilled, most real moment!
Also, the "map" helps you "live by design" --- or CHOICE --- by identifying you
"Fictional Self" --- the person you believe you are supposed to be, which is the
"person" or "personality"other people (particularly your intimate "network") have told you that you are!
The incongruence between these two selves, your "Authentic Self" and your
"Fictional Self" is what has led you to feel that your life is incomplete, unbalanced,
and more difficult than it should be --- if those are dominant feelings in your life. By demystifying
your self-concept and learning how to reclaim your "Authentic Self," you can evaluate your life
by only the "FACTS" and THINK beyond the excuses and fears that have "masked" the person you have always wanted to be!
2) KEY QUESTIONS --- Deal with the following three subjects, namely:
[1] What are the TEN most "defining moments" of your life?
(1)
(2)
(3)
(4)
(5)
(6)
(7)
(8)
(9)
(10)
[2] What are the SEVEN most "critical choices" you have made to put you on your current life path?
(1)
(2)
(3)
(4)
(5)
(6)
(7)
[3] Who are the FIVE most "pivotal people" in your world and how have they shaped you?
(1)
(2)
(3)
(4)
(5)
1) What if . . . ? (p1-26)
2) Defining YOUR Authentic Self (p27-64)
3) Your "self-concept" --- introduction to external factors (p65-87)
4) Your ten most "defining moments" (p98-123)
[1] The challenge --- Identify the ten most defining moments of your life (p111-117)
[2] Connecting the dots (p117-123)
(1) List your defining moments --- then describe each defining moment in one brief paragraph.
(2) For each defining moment, identify the "before" and the "after" in your self-concept
(3) Write a paragraph to describe the long-term residual effect of that defining moment
(4) Write down how and why you think the defining moment either clarified or distorted your authentic self
(5) Review your interpretation of and reaction to the defining moment. Decide whether or not you believe your interpretation was and is accurate or inaccurate.
(6) Write down whether this is something that you think you should keep or perfect with regard to
your concept of self. Include one paragraph as to why.
(7) Reviewing these defining moments as a whole, what has been the "bottom-line" effect on your concept of self, having lived through them?
Remember, you are in control. You are the "manager" of your own life!
5) What were your SEVEN most "critical choices" (p124-144)
Your life demands choices! The challenge of this chapter is simply to identify the seven most critical choices of your life. These seven critical choices have been MAJOR FACTORS in determining who and what you have become! If you identify and understand these choices, you will unlock an amazing amount of information about you and your self-concept and you and your future!
[1] Your "Hierarchy of Basic Needs" which "drive" or motivate each and every one of YOUR CHOICES! (p130)
(1) SURVIVAL --- (p130-132)
(2) SECURITY --- (p134)
(3) LOVE --- (p132-134)
(4) SELF-ESTEEM --- (p133-134)
(5) SELF-EXPRESSION --- (p134)
(6) INTELLECTUAL FULFILLMENT --- (p134-135)
(7) SPIRITUAL FULFILLMENT --- (p135)
[2] The role of choice (p135-139)
[3] The challenge (p139-144
6) Your "FIVE pivotal people" --- introduction to "internal factors" (p157-164)
[1] Who are the five most pivotal people in your life?
[2] Who are the five people who most shaped the "self-concept" that controls your life today?
Both positive and negative!
[3] Who has "written" on the slate of you?
[4] Were YOU on the list of the five pivotal people in your life?
If not, why not?
Doesn't it make sense that your own name would appear on your list of five pivotal people?
Let that be your goal for the rest of this book!
7) Locus of control (p165-182)
8) Internal dialogue (p183-209)
9) Labels (p209-223)
10) Life scripts --- Introduction to the five-step action plan (p250-261)
11) Putting the plan to work (p262-286)
12) Sabotage (p287-304)
EPILOGUE (p305-309)
[1] APPENDIX A --- Health control attribution questionnaire (p311-312)
[2] APPENDIX B --- Control for self questionnaire (p313-314)
Return to Training Tool #3: Motivation Category Abstracts