WHEN ANGER HURTS --- HOW TO CHANGE PAINFUL FEELINGS INTO POSITIVE ACTION by Matthew McKay, Peter Rogers, and Judith McKay. MJF Books, 1989
PART 1 --- UNDERSTANDING ANGER (p1-80)
1) How to use this book (p1-7)
2) The myths of anger (p9-22)
MYTH 1 --- Anger is a biochemically determined event
MYTH 2 --- Anger and aggression are instinctual to man
MYTH 3 --- Frustration leads to aggression
MYTH 4 --- It's healthy to ventilate
3) The physiological costs of anger (p23-32)
4) The interpersonal costs of anger (p33-41)
5) Anger as a choice --- the "two-step model" of anger (p43-60)
Four kinds of STRESS that anger serves to dissipate:
[1] PAINFUL AFFECT --- Anger can block off painful emotions so that they are literally pushed out of your awareness. It can also discharge high levels of arousal experienced during periods of anxiety, hurt, guilt, and other emotions.
[2] PAINFUL SENSATION --- Stress is often experienced as a physical sensation, such as muscle tension or physical pain or sympathetic nervous system activity.
[3] FRUSTRATED DRIVE --- Anger can discharge stress that develops when you are frustrated in the search for something you need or want. It functions to vent high arousal levels that inevitably grow as drive activities are blocked.
[4] THREAT --- Any perceived threat, either to your physical or psychological well-being, creates immediate arousal. The arousal mobilizes you and generates a very strong push for some stress-reduction activity.
Each of the four types of stress sets off a psychological alarm mechanism that tells you something is not right. As the arousal builds, so too does your need to cope with it in order to stop the pain. Anger is one of many coping strategies available to you to discharge stressful arousal.
Anger is a response to STRESS, and its function is to discharge or block awareness of that stress. Even though it may seem more cathartic to express anger to the person you associate with your pain, it is rarely about the real issues anyway!
All anger usually does is temporarily reduce tension. Whether you ventilate to the appropriate person or displace your feelings onto a less threatening object, the underlying stress is rarely addressed in a constructive way.
Angry people become too defensive to engage in real problem solving. Ask yourself, "Did I express the pain in a way that may lead to a solution?"
Do not ask yourself, "Did I get angry at the right person?"
You choose to be angry!
6) Who's responsible (p61-78)
PART 2 --- SKILL BUILDING
7) Combating trigger thoughts (81-102)
8) Controlling stress step-by-step (p103-126)
9) Stopping escalation (p127-146)
10) Coping through healthy self-talk (p147-164)
11) Response choice rehearsal (p165-179)
The key attitude is "problem solving"
12) Problem-solving communication (p181-205)
13) Images of anger (p206-216)
14) Anger as a defense (p216-235)
"Make your own plan!"
PART 3 --- ANGER AT HOME (p237-301)
15) Anger and children (p239-268)
16) Spouse abuse (p269-301)
APPENDIX --- RCR Group Protocol (p303-312)
BIBLIOGRAPHY (p313-320)
Return to intro essay #1: Focus on the Self-Liberation Philosophy and Strategy
Go to brainpower index: Interactive Index of Factual Ideas