PEOPLE SKILLS --- HOW TO ASSERT YOURSELF, LISTEN TO OTHERS,
AND RESOLVE CONFLICTS by Robert Bolten. Simon & Schuster, 1979
    The abilities and attitudes called "People Skills" in this book are similar to the emotional skills involved in "Emotional Intelligence" and "Emotional Literacy."

    PREFACE (pxiii-x5)

    PART 1 --- INTRODUCTION --- "You have a vast capacity for being more understanding respectful, warm, genuine, open, direct, and concrete in your human relationships. With a sound body of theoretical knowledge, appropriate models, and numerous opportunities for personal experiencing, your process of becoming more fully human can be greatly accelerated. (p1-26)

    1) Skills for bridging the interpersonal gap (p3-13)

    2) Barriers to communication (p14-26)

    PART 2 --- LISTENING SKILLS (p27-114)

    3) Listening is more than merely hearing (p29-48)

    4) Four skills of reflective listening (p49-61)

    5) Why reflective responses work (p62-76)

    6) Reading body language (p77-88)

    7) Improving your reflecting skills (p89-114)

    PART 3 --- ASSERTION SKILLS (p115-202)

    8) Three approaches to relationships (p117-138)

    [1] Listening and assertion --- the "yin and yang"of communication (p118)

    [2] Methods for developing assertiveness (p118-119)

    [3] The need to protect one's personal space (p119-122)

    [4] Impacting (p122)

    [5] The "Submissive-Assertion-Aggression" continuum (p123-129)

    (1) Submissive behaviors (p123-124)

    (2) Agressive behaviors (p124-125)

    (3) Assertive behaviors (p125-128)

    (4) The swing to the opposite style (p128)

    (5) Placing yourself on the continuum (p128-129)

    [6] Payoffs and penalties of three ways of relating (p129-137)

    [7] Choose for yourself (p137)

    [8] Summary --- Listening and assertion are the "yin" and "yang" of communication. They are very different but complementary and interdependent parts of relationships. Just as there are skills for developing one's ability at listening, so there are skills for increasing one's assertiveness. (p138)

    Each individual has a personal space which needs defending. Likewise, you have a psychological need to impact on others and the world. Assertiveness training teaches constructive methods of defending one's space and impacting on others.

    One way of understanding assertion is to see it in contrast with submission and aggression. There are payoffs and penalties for each of those ways of relating. A primary goal of assertion training is to enable people to take charge of their own lives. It helps them avoid repeating dysfuctional and stereotyped behaviors so that they make a fitting response in the situation in which they find themselves.
    9) Developing three-part assertion messages (p139-157)

    10) Handling the push-push back phenomenon (p158-176)

    11) Increasing your assertive options (p177-202)

    PART 4 --- CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS (p203-274)
    12) Conflict prevention and control (p205-215)

    13) Handling the emotional components of conflict (p216-231)

    14) Collaborative problem solving (p232-252)

    15) Three essentials for effective communication (p253-274)

    AFTERWARD --- Training for improved communication (p275-279)

      [1] A quantified commitment to use the skills (p275-276)

      [2] Select appropriate situations (p276-277)

      [3] Undaunted by occasional failure (p277)

      [4] Prepare others for the change (p277-278)

      [5] Skill training (p278-279)

    NOTES (p280-296)

    INDEX (p297-300)
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